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Archive for February, 2014

Reawakening to reality

It is a good thing I set that 10 minute timer…sometimes it is the mediator between meditative state and rounding the corner to sleep.  🙂 

Today I meditated in my car before returning home from school.

The last several times I’ve used my 30 sec prep time to say a little prayer or give some gratitude.   I find it does indeed prep my mind/body a little more for the sitting.

Today even though my brain was all over the place, I managed to start counting breaths towards the end of the sit and got up to 13 before the bell rang.   Not sure if I could have maintained focus until 21.  Lol.  Today was just one of those days where paying attention to my breaths did not cause my chest to feel tight – part of why I have trouble focusing on the breath.

It was also one of those sessions where when the sit was done, I opened my eyes but really did not want to move my body.  It was definitely relaxed, kind of heavy.  I really didnt want to move.    ♡

Permission to be at peace

I am most successful at making time to meditate on workdays, perhaps given they are more structured days.  By the time lunch comes around for me I am ready to run into the treatment room, turn off the light, and sit for 10 minutes on a short exam stool.

Initially the techno-squealing was annoying.  Now it gives me something external to focus on if I need help quieting the mind.  Besides, even if that wasnt there my ears would still probably ring.

Somehow I’ve lost track of watching the breath.  I only watch a few breaths at a time.  🙂 

What I have gotten good at is giving myself “permission to be at peace” for these 10 minutes, permission to not have to follow thoughts or work out problems.  I center myself by remembering that I am not on the noisy side of the psych ward at the moment, that I can let go of the reverb in my head of those noises.   Then, I try to watch my breath for a few and listen for the quiet in the room.