For the record, I’m really happy to be working on building up my blog finally.
I have a long-term goal of documenting much of my life’s journeys as a record – someone existed like this, whatever this is. Maybe someone can learn something about themselves or another culture from my example. Maybe not.
A friend of mine denies any of this matters. Maybe it doesn’t in the long run. Maybe the information I present here will be data in a file somewhere someday, out of sight, out of mind. He says he creates art because he enjoys it, and I write because I enjoy it. I like having the potential for an audience because I reckon I’m an exhibitionist. 😉 Hopefully this month off of school will see both a lot of writing and a lot of art on my part too. 🙂
At any rate, It is in progress. The seed is growing.
Cest la vie, TBD.
Calling vs. Ego
This is awesome. In short:
- Ego fears not having or doing something. Calling fears not expressing or being something.
- Ego needs anxiety to survive. Calling needs silence to survive.
- Ego manifests as burnout. Calling manifests as fulfillment.
- Ego focuses on the result. Calling focuses on the process.
- Ego wants to preserve the self. Calling wants to impact others.
When a candle is freshly lit, in but a moment it is fortified enough to light another candle. It does not think to itself, “Wait! I don’t know much about burning brightly! How do I know I’ll be able to light the other candle?” Further, we see that when the new candle catches fire, the old light is strengthened as well.
Is this not true for humans as well? Does not the teacher learn to burn brighter through the student when they catch fire to an idea?
We as humans seem to doubt our vantage point for sharing ideas and teaching. We expect that being qualified would mean mastery of being a candle. But mastery of being a candle means the candle is no more – it burned until extinguished, until the wick was no more.
There is a certain level of expertise that is required to teach, of course. But once your flame is lit and stable, so as to not extinguish your own flame when lighting another’s, do not hesitate! Others need your light!
“If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.” – Margaret Fuller.
(Not wandering Wednesday, self.)
Woke up a few minutes early this morning to listen to Marie Incontrera’s radio debut. Brought my laptop to bed and managed to stay awake somehow. What also helped wake me up was my dog retching… pobrecito! …we both agreed that an oboe piece went on for too long. Made coffee, planned to read an article while waiting, didn’t read the article. Held Pinto for a bit, and watched Falcor enjoy his morning window time with a smile on his face and a twitch in his tail. As long as I’ve had him, which is not very long, he has loved watching out the windows as the sun comes up.
I have school on my mind, of course, and I need to get decisive about my handling of it. I can’t help but wonder if the equal and opposite reaction to having signed up for too many classes initially would be withdrawing from 2 of them, and just keeping my Nursing class, rather than just giving up on the whole semester – like I feel like doing right now. It is not entirely a matter of not enough time, but my motivation has been absent for beyond the first 2 weeks of classes. I shall make an effort to talk to my English Professor tomorrow and see what I can salvage. Full day of Nursing clinicals and class today, a date with a lovely lady tonight, and devotion to Candide after class and tomorrow. I also wonder if I can still take my paid tuition off of my taxes even if I withdrew from the classes?
Time to start the day, and I pray for the focus and passion for my studies to be present, and to rival that of my passion for the romantic and visual arts. 😉