Online dating rules, a la me.

I first started meeting people “online” back in the days of the commodore 64 “q-link” service.  Then dial-up BBS.  Then talkers on telnet, message boards, AOL, and now dating sites.  Some  meets have resulted in good relationships that ended for normal reasons, some have resulted in long-term friendships.  I’ve just always had better luck meeting like-minded people online rather than bars, and now I don’t drink so that limits my stranger-pool.  

Over the years, I’ve developed a few basic game rules that I hope you can learn from.   Feel free to add/comment, I’m curious about your experiences/rules.  

1. Don’t spend weeks/months writing, because it ends up being a bonafide heartache if there isn’t chemistry.   Soo much text and writing so many years ago.  But there were very few people “online” back then, and it seems to me in general there was a higher caliber of intelligence overall.  🙂  

2. Have a quick coffee meet before you plan a long, extravagant-ish date. If you are going to have a dinner/lunch as a first meet, the bill should be split and this should be agreed upon up front.   For the would-be recipient, it takes the pressure off of feeling they have to “put out” or give the payor a chance if they aren’t really into them, and there isn’t a “sucker” spending money on dates that don’t have a happy ending – a second date, that is, pervs!  “Normal” dating rules can apply after that first meet, if that means traditional chivalry for you, or alternating bills.  

3. Don’t only look at the OKC percentage rating, compare answers to questions. However, I have noticed I do have a lot more in common with people who have higher match percentages. That isn’t 100% though. Is anyone 100%?

4. Just like traditional dating, don’t expect the next person you meet off the dating site to be “the one.” It places unfair expectations on the process! Of course, we hope they are. They might however be our next friend or learning experience.

5. As a woman, I definitely don’t give my number/email to someone until it is established we have some common grounds and the other person doesn’t seem to have actively crazy tendencies. With that said, once I have information on someone I do tend to google them. YMMV in terms of how people perceive this, some find it intrusive and they are generally net-naive. If potential employers are going to google you, why not google potential dates?

6. If there is only a partial shot of the person, ask for a full length photo. Perhaps even clarify if the pictures are recent 

7. Don’t assume everybody online is mentally well. Don’t assume everybody online is mentally ill. It runs the gamut, just like life, and most people are a mix. Remember, everyone is crazy, you are just looking for people that are your kind of crazy.

Hope this helps.